What do you feel are the roots of your submission? Do you think it has something to do with childhood? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?
All of the above. There are roots in many places. Part of my submission branches from how I was raised, the way that I was taught to think of myself and of others, the social skills I developed, and expectations that I was brought up learning. Part of it, I feel, is simply natural; it is a basic urge for me as well as a taught one.
E and I do make use of a domestic discipline to a degree, though not in a traditional sense, I don't think. He does use specific 'exercises' to encourage my submission and enforce the rules we have agreed on. My submission to him is a large part of our relationship, I find joy in it and it is the major way I express my love for him. I have problems making decisions so giving him that control is a great stress reliever too. In its way, my submission is also a "sexual thrill". His sexual control over me arouses me like little else.
My submission also has roots in my spiritual beliefs. As a Christian, I am encouraged to "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21 NIV) and yes, that's an attitude of submission, of respect, of putting the other person before oneself, of giving and expecting nothing, not even acknowledgment, in return. The Geneva Study Bible says this of this particular verse, " ..the end to which all things ought to be referred, to serve one another for God's sake." That, I feel, sums it up rather nicely.
All these things work together to create the totality of my submission; the different aspects and the varied ways I display it reflect each of them. My submission in Christ was less before I grew in my other submissive origins. My submission to E is better because of my submission in Christ. I am a better daughter and person for embracing both and acknowledging that I need the guidance that being my submissive self provides. One might say my submission has a well developed root system... ;)
The roots of my submission..hmmm. I guess it's simple. I express my love for my husband through submission to him. It's what he desires, and although it's not how I am wired I am happiest when I follow his leadership and leaner to embrace my role. But it's not something I crave as an inner part of my being.
ReplyDeleteI believe in Gods design for marriage with the husband as the head, in a protective, nurturing, and guiding role.