Do you accept
and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do
you feel about it?
Absolutely. I feel that I need the discipline and/or
punishments because it keeps my mindset in place, and because I have such
issues with my self control that such consequences make me better behaved.
Without it, I tend to return to a self focus and that is something I do not
like. I am immensely happier when focused on serving and not on what I want
because listening to what I want most of the time would have unpleasant results
on my attitude, my relationships, my weight, my health and my appearance.
If I
go by what I want, I may want to sit on the couch and chow down on an entire
pack of Oreos instead of doing laundry, knowing that it’s not good for me...
wait... I have done that… If I didn’t have the punishment, my self-discipline
would disappear pretty quickly and I’d most likely just do what I wanted, even
knowing that it’s not good for me. Because I know that doing so would get me in trouble
with E, it is immensely easier for me to resist that temptation. I need the
accountability because, alone, I can talk myself into or out of damn near anything
whether it’s helpful or harmful.
Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission?
Why or why not?
Yes. I may consider myself masochistic, but with the attitude
of displeasure and intent of punishment behind pain, it can cause even something
I enjoy to bring repentant tears.
Do you
accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission?
How do you feel about them?
Definitely.
I need structure and rules and limits are there for safety. I need to know
what’s expected of me and what I can expect from my Dominant. If I don’t, I
don’t feel comfortable at all. Structure is something I’ve always sought, I
think. I am, by nature a rather chaotic individual and I recognize my need for
regularity and routine as well as known consequences and results for expected
actions…. If that makes any sense whatsoever.
I need the
reassurance of the “If/then” statements and feel much more secure when I am aware of my fence.
I may bump against it from time to time, I may even shove at it, jump it, or
attempt to rip it to shreds, but I need it and I prefer for it to bump me
rather than for me to bump it. I need to know how much is too much and I don’t
want to have to be or do too much in order for me to find out.
I need rules
(shh don’t tell the adolescent me…) because without them, I feel lost. They’re
the links in the chain connecting me to my Anchor and without them, I’d be
totally adrift, just floating there, waiting for the waves of change that life
tosses my way to overwhelm me and leave me directionless and wandering.
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