Exploring My Submission: Journaling Exercise #1

So In reading others’ blogs I’ve come across this 30 days of submission journaling exercise and I figured I’d give it a try, explore what my submission really is to me and let everyone else know while I’m at it. I doubt I’ll do this every day, but I’m starting it today. When I’ll do the next one, who knows?

I found this version of the aforementioned list here: http://www.submissiveguide.com/2012/03/how-to-use-the-30-days-memes-effectively-to-maximize-submissive-growth/

Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

Somewhat. All of those labels fit my submission and my relationship with E to some degree, at different moments, in various ways. I rarely say I am E’s submissive, but rather say, “I am submissive to E”. If you read my post about weakness, then you know I don’t feel comfortable calling any man Master, but I do exhibit some traits of a slave and I may reach a point where I go past “submissive to E” and into “slave to E”, but I don’t know, can’t tell and won’t strive for that. If it happens, it happens. Sometimes it’s just a scene or practice, and we’re Top and bottom (this is usually when the SAM gets me…). He is my Owner, and yes, I like that term; it’s what is used in our contract and I have a few pet-like characteristics. Sometimes there’s a glimpse of Daddy and little girl even with my stuffed monkey and my pouting. Overall, E guides me. He directs me. He challenges me. He leads me. He corrects me when I need it. He punishes me if necessary. I submit to him and to his authority and decision. That does not mean I blindly follow. I will and do question him, but I do just that, verbally and in depth should I have the need.

Sometimes we’re just E and Surri. Two people just being together. Through all of this I am his. I belong and I am kept. So, I’ll say I’m a submissive (a submissive what, though? lol). I suppose Dominant/submissive covers what we are well enough when describing it to strangers, but it in no way says all that we are, or all that my submission is. 


He's my Sir. I'm his girl. Any other label is partial.