Fuckdoll

“Strip and lie on your back on the bed. I’ll be back in a minute,” he instructed as soon as I entered his room. He headed upstairs, likely to pollute the air with cigarette smoke and top off his coffee. I took a deep breath and slid out of my clothes, leaving them in a heap beside the door, then stretched a bit, enjoying the tension in the flex and bend.

I reached up to the ceiling with my hands and then brushed the carpet with my fingertips. A sigh escaped me as I slid my hand down my right side and arched in that direction, stretching the left side, enjoying the give up my ribs and on my hip. I repeated the movement on my left side, the sigh turning into a soft moan. Finally, with a small smile, I turned to the bed and arranged myself on it, my legs hanging off the foot of the mattress and feet brushing the floor.

It wasn’t long before he returned, set his coffee cup beside the bed and leaned over to kiss me. His “Good girl,” brought another happy sigh. He moved to my feet and rolled stockings up my legs, left first, smoothing the silky fabric up to my thighs before slipping his favorite black patent heels on my feet. He stood and ordered “Up.” So, I sat up, my eyes closed and a smile curving my lips. He slid the leather play collar over the skin of my throat and I leaned into it with a little moan. My breath stumbled as he clicked the lock closed and moved to remove my silver day collar from beneath the leather one. The feel of my pulse thudding against the leather collar blurred my mind as it always does.

I could feel him smile, though he stood above me. His thumbs found the pressure points on my shoulders and he pushed, eliciting louder moans. My eyes remained closed and he shoved me back on the bed. I landed with an ungraceful flop, my mind fogged. I heard him move away for a moment, a door closed, likely to the bathroom, but I was unconcerned and just lay there enjoying the state he brings me to with such little effort.

I heard him return, felt the bed dip with his weight and I made the herculean effort to open my eyes and look at him for a moment before he rolled me over onto my stomach. My eyes slid closed once more and I heard the murmur of the rope before I felt it. The soft scratch or the rope over the skin of my inner wrist brought a little squirm, my thighs rubbing together. He bound my wrists and pulled them toward the head of the bed. “How is my toy?” his voice rumbled in my ear.

I managed a response after a moment, “Good, Sir.” Again, I could feel his smile as he moved away from me. I do so love that smile. He ran a hand down my back and over my bottom, and then dipped fingers between my legs. Two fingers, three, I couldn’t tell anymore from the pleasure he wrought. The bed moved again as he wrapped his hand around my hair, twisted the bun and pressed my face into the mattress.

“Cum, toy,” he commanded. I began the orgasm, tensing my muscles and my body obeyed. My pussy clenched around his fingers and my abdominals pulsed along with them, curling my body. He finally relented and stopped moving his fingers and the orgasm abated slowly.

“Thank you, Sir,” I murmured, but he yanked my head back and clamped his pussy dampened hand over my mouth and nose. I dimly heard “Good cunt.” as I fought to breathe. I struggled to pull my hands down to claw at the hand halting my breath. My entire body tightened as the need for air intensified. How long has his hand kept me from breathing? I don’t know anymore. My world narrowed to my body’s need for oxygen and his hand that controls me so.

“You can cum when you can breathe,” I heard. The words seemed to resound in my ears. My eyes have opened now, on the verge of panic, despite my knowledge that my Sir would never damage what is His. His hand now holds back a scream as well as the air, a barrier both ways. And then it is gone.

An orgasm rushes through me as breath sobs in and out of me until the intensity of it stops the panted moans again and again. All thought is gone and all that exists is this. All that has ever been and all that will be is caught in that moment of ecstasy. Slowly the orgasm subsided and I could feel his hand in my hair still, his fingers stroking my face.

“Thank you, Sir,” I managed hoarsely.

“Mmmmm good girl,” I received. Then he entered me. “Lie still, I want to fuck my toy,” he ordered. If I could have spoken I would have replied with a “yessir” but my voice was engaged in a long low moan with the feel of his cock moving inside my pussy. His hand moved to pull my head back by my collar while he braced himself with the other. I wanted to cum. I wanted to beg to cum, but knew that if he wanted an orgasm from me, he would say so. I fought it desperately, my body tightened with the battle against my need to orgasm. Guttural cries echoed from my open mouth unhindered by the pressure on my throat from his hold on the collar.

“Are you needy, toy?” he asked me.

My response was another moan and a roughly spoken “Yessirrr”.

“Aren't you a lucky girl that I like to feel you cum? If I didn’t, you wouldn't get to," he reminded me, which made my struggle against orgasm even more difficult. “You may cum when I do, toy.”

I accomplished another croaked “Yessir” and dug my fingernails into the palms of my bound hands as he thrust into me harder and faster. My breath automatically stopped in the fight against the need to cum. I could hear my pulse thump in my ears, the blood rushing unsteadily through my veins until I felt like I might fail him. A moment longer and I might not be able to obey his command against orgasm.

“Release, cunt. Cum for me, toy,” he growled and the world was gone. My pussy contracted around his cock and I felt his cum fill me, felt him twitch and throb inside me then I was gone, lost in this incredibly severe ecstasy that he draws from me. I came until my abs ached from it and still it did not stop. I came until my stomach churned with it and still it continued. Slowly the intensity faded, but I felt him pull out of me and it came again in painfully pleasurable waves until finally it faded from me.

I whispered a “Thank you, Sir” weakly and he pulled my head to his cock. I licked and sucked him clean and drifted for a while with it in my mouth before he patted the bed next to him. With a soft sigh, I curled up half beside him, half draped over him and listened to his heartbeat, my head on his chest.

This. This is bliss. Utterly used and happily satisfied.

Quietly.

“Thank you, Sir.”

“Good girl.”

© surrina booke 2013
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This short Fuckdoll story at the request of BookAddict on GoodReads. It is very close to being qualified as reality as it is very much about my life and my journey. This story is mostly a compilation of parts from scenes between myself and my Sir. The piece in its entirety is imagined, but quite possibly real and I just blended one scene into another as my mind so often does… it does sound quite like my Sir and me.

~E's Surri

Exploring My Submission: Journaling Exercises #12 & #13

 Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

Yes. E and I have a loose budget set for me right now. We don’t live together at the moment (unfortunately, but I’m trying to be patient on that) so it’s difficult to create an itemized budget, and I don’t know that he’d want to do that even if we were living together.

We have an entire portion of our Rule Book dedicated to Finances and Employment… I’ll just copy paste it here…

Finances and Employment

1.      Each party understands that prior to engagement of said relationship both have acquired certain personal property and wealth. These items do not become the property of the Owner once the relationship has been entered into that they remain the sole responsibility of their owner. Should the Submissive desire to relinquish any or all property then she may do so and then and only then does it become the responsibility of the Owner.

2.      The Submissive understands that she is expected to complete her college degree.

3.      A budget will be set for the Submissive regardless her state of employment. Any deviation from that budget is considered worthy of punishment as seen fit by the Owner.

4.      The Submissive must propose all major expenditures to the Owner for approval; this includes any singular purchase over $50 and any unnecessary purchase for pleasure or recreation over $20 with the exclusion of items that may be returned for full refunds, in which case the item must be approved by the Owner as soon as possible after purchase and with the receipt.

5.      Should the Submissive maintain gainful employment outside the home after the relationship has been entered into then all moneys and accumulation by the Submissive belong to the Submissive, however the Owner maintains all final decisions and shall allow the Submissive to discuss matters regarding investments and moneys spent for the benefit of the relationship. Both parties agree that while at work neither shall do or cause to happen anything that may jeopardize the others employment, understanding that each must maintain bills and together, a household.

6.      Should the Submissive not be required to maintain gainful employment outside the home, her duties shall be maintaining the family and the home ensuring that it is kept proper and clean at all times and that meals are prepared in accordance with the Owner's wishes and in doing so fulfills her financial obligations to the home. The Owner shall maintain any medical insurance necessary and assume financial responsibility for the Submissive. The Owner shall also establish a savings fund for the Submissive and maintain it, contributing to it regularly so that should the relationship dissolve the Submissive has a means to sustain herself until she may either find gainful employment or make other arrangements.

I don’t pay him. He doesn’t pay me. He guides me and helps me prepare for my future and the future of my children… and our future together. I know there are other arrangements that aren’t so… advantageous. I am blessed to have a good man as my Dominant; a good man that loves and takes good care of his girl. 

I don't like the concept of turning over one's entire income to a Dominant that one is not married to or without other legal provisions. I don't like the thought of a Dominant not caring for his submissive's future financially if such a situation is arranged. I've heard horror stories of subs that turn over their entire life, including money, to a Dominant and when they are, for some reason, released, they are turned out without a penny or a place to go. I am aware that this is not the norm, but it frightens me to know that it happens sometimes. 

I often have trouble with numbers and I struggle with impulse buying. This is the reason I have never and do not currently have a credit card. I realize that this is something I need help with and, as with everything else, I turn to my Sir for it. I update him with my account balance occasionally, though he doesn't require it, so that he can know how well or how poorly I am managing what I have. Yes, it's another measure of submission, but I really don't make the effort for it. It's just what seems right. I know that if I am not held accountable for this more than once a month I will more than likely spend more than is needed on things that aren't needed and be without money for the things that I do need... like gas or money for a bill. E helps keep me on track. 

Quite often I've been late for a bill payment. Quite often I've missed a bill payment... for absolutely no reason... just because no one made me pay it, I suppose... Now I have someone to make me and I'm grateful for it. 

 Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission? Why or why not? Are there limits to this?

Yes, I am always to be available sexually to my Sir. It is this way because we both enjoy it. There are limits, our safety, the safety and well being of my children, and our public reputations dictate the appropriateness of time and place, but otherwise… that’s pretty much it. I belong to him, he uses me when he wants… ok. Sometimes when I want too. ;) but that’s easy as I usually ‘want’.