Exploring My Submission: Journaling Exercise #10

Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships? How do you feel about BDSM? Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?

Yeah. BDSM is a part of my relationship. E is pretty active in the local kinky community and I would be if I had more opportunity. Bondage is a yes, I love rope in particular but I enjoy pretty much any kind of bondage… at least all the types I’ve tried. Discipline is in there too. Dominance and submission obviously play a big role in our relationship. Sadomasochism is there as well. So I suppose we have the whole shebang. hahaha

As far as its importance, I know that one day I probably won’t be so keen on E purpling my butt with bruises and that one day he probably won’t be able to. There will be a time when his fingers can no longer tie the knots and I can no longer kneel or stand still long enough for him to bind me (that’s an issue already lol!). Despite that, the Dominance and submission and even discipline, I feel, will remain. 

So, some aspects of it are integral to my submission, but others… time will eventually push them aside. It’s not all whips and chains and blood and pain, though those are sometimes included. In that complex acronym there is a way of living, a way of thinking that is, to me, beautiful and that lasts much longer than the mere moments of pain or bondage. 

Recent Poetry

In Glory

Write upon my wrist

My story

Come to  Know

Impress upon my skin

Each worry

Let it go

Pull the bindings taut

My body

Make it bow

And so it all begins

In Glory

Help me Grow

© surrina booke 2012

To The Pain

I’m pain poor.

Come to me

In patterned possibility

Paths across my skin

That rip away civility

Again, again, again

Provoke, pursue, distil me

Reveal me more and then

Infuse the raw with clarity

Begin, begin, begin

Through this vessel

Calling you

Worthiness aside

Pain, pour through me

Please. Please

Come to me

Abide.

© surrina booke 2012

Musings on the Threads of Earth

I wonder

Where

The knot that holds

The threads of Earth

Together

Ends,

A bellybutton

Of sorts.

If we were to

Untie our knot

Would we unravel?

Would the strings

That keep our feet

Tethered

To the fabric of soil

Loosen?

Would the leaves be

Unstitched?

The waters

Disentangled?

Do you think

The Earth was sewn?

Or knitted?

Or crocheted?

Or,

With its patchwork

Of

Fields and cities

Embroideries

Of

Roads and rivers,

Quilted?

If

It were to unravel

What would we find?

The batting?

The answers?

Or great God

Laughing at

All

Our

Questions.

© surrina booke 2012

How is a Submissive Like a Shoe?

No, no. This isn’t one of those “How is a raven like a writing desk?” jokes… But how in the world is a submissive person like a shoe? I’m getting to that.

Disclaimer: My thoughts are my thoughts… you may not agree with them and I in no way want to tell you how you should do things.

One of the things I’ve been doing lately for E, when I get the chance, is caring for his shoes. Cleaning them, polishing them, etc. I don’t get the opportunity often, because I don’t get much time with him, but I’ve been thinking about it and about how I feel while I’m doing it. It’s a bit like the mirrors I mentioned in a previous post. I want to do my best because it’s for him, but also, it’s a bit more…

His shoes are something he uses every day, pretty much all day to protect his feet. With 26 bones, 33 joints, 107 ligaments, 19 muscles and tendons in each foot, the 52 bones in both feet make up about 25% of all the bones in the body and, though the foot has evolved over time, stepping on sharp rocks, broken glass, and stubbing the toes are still pretty unavoidable risks without shoes. The right shoe can prevent or alleviate foot, ankle, knee, hip, and back pains, while the wrong choice can worsen or cause similar pains. Bad or worn out shoes can even cause misalignment in the spine and lead to problems throughout the entire body.  A shoe isn’t just a mirror he glances into on his way by; it’s something that, in its way, defends him.

Are you beginning to see the similarities now? The right submissive can prevent or alleviate pains (troubles, stressors, drama, etc.) and the wrong one can cause or worsen it! Being the right submissive (at least we both feel so at the moment), I should seek to relieve his stresses, soothe him or avoid them altogether. I mention that bad or worn out shoes can even cause misalignment of the spine and lead to problems throughout the body; this is also true of submissive persons. I may not call the shots, but the attitude of my service and the efficiency in which I complete my tasks can very well make or break the entire order of things. Now, I’m not talking about a person that submits for kicks and giggles (though I do that, too sometimes), but a person that lives this way, that feels submission in their core, whether naturally or as a calling. But I, in my way, should defend him as I can by making his life as stress free and well ordered as possible. He, in turn, relieves my stress by taking the weight of decision from me in most cases… among other things. ;)

Shoes also play a factor in the image a person presents. Whether in a corporate, casual, kinky or other setting, the way we look is often the first impression we make. While, shoes may seem a minor part of that image, they have more of an influence than one might think. An unwise choice can make an expensive outfit look cheap and stylish outfit look, well, absurd. And then they make us look, well, cheap or absurd. If the shoes are unkempt, it indicates a lack of care, a rough life, and if they’re not designed for the rough, then that judgment is also a judgment of us. No matter what’s on the inside. We should not be deceived by shoes, just as we shouldn’t be fooled by clothes, but we often are.

In caring for E’s shoes, I care for the image he presents to the world. Those shoes say a lot about this man I love… They’ve obviously been walked in. They’re creased and have a few scuffs and you can tell they’ve been worn and worn often. To me this says “He does.” He does a lot of things and I struggle often to keep up and work my way into his busy life when I can. Even when he’s not going and doing, his mind is still working on something for when he is going and doing. Despite being worn in, the shoes are clean and have a good sheen. They’re well cared for, even when I can’t care for them. And he cares about what he does too. No matter what it is, he puts care and focus into what he’s doing. 

I’ve noticed when this starts slipping, so do the shoes. When he gets caught up in something or another and stops putting that care and focus into his actions, the shoes might stay dusty and unpolished for a while. Now, this may be just my perception due to difficulties we’ve had lately, but it seems to be the case.

My image reflects on him as well. I am his. It is known that I am his. My grooming, my actions, my manners, my habits, my dress and all the things that make up how others view me, these things affect how others view him too.

Shoes can also be confidence boosters. I know how I feel in a favorite pair of heels. Teens whine and beg for the latest pop star’s or sports star’s brand because imitating their favorite star makes them feel “cool” (Do they still use that term?). It’s a brain thing. It just makes you feel good to wear great shoes. Call it a morale booster, a matter of pride, whatever.  Why do you think we pay so much for designer shoes? (ok.. I don’t, but some people do…) I want my Sir to feel good about himself when he’s wearing those shoes. I want my Sir to feel good about himself when he’s wearing me too… hahaha but you get the point.

So yes, in a way, I’m like these shoes. It makes sense for me to care for them, just as I care for myself. Well and with him in mind. 

Exploring My Submission: Journaling Exercise #2 & #3

Describe who you might submit to and how. Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you submissive only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you submissive to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?

Submission is a way of life for me... to a degree. It is a thing both internal and external, of nature and nurture, automatic and sought. An attitude of submission is not the same as submitting to every person I come in contact with, however. To me, it's taking another's needs and desires into consideration before my own.

I am also, submissive in my relationship with E. This submission is twined with my attitude of submission in daily life. It's pretty much every aspect of our relationship, even when in the vanilla realm. This just feels right and when I step outside of that submission to him, even when he's unaware of my attitude, it just doesn't ring true. He leads, I follow. I might bottom to a play partner, but that submission is not the same submission I give to E. 

How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive? How do you feel when you express your submission?

I've always yielded easily (until recently). Someone said "do this", usually I did. It might have taken me an hour to do something that should have taken 10 minutes because I got distracted daydreaming or got too detail oriented, but I did it. It's gotten me in trouble, it's gotten me into more than trouble... but I have always had great difficulty saying "no". I've had to learn to, (I have kids... they learned it from somewhere..) but it can still be a hard thing for me to do. 

Persons, including my parents, have long encouraged me to take positions of leadership in groups; to be the person saying "do this" or "go there" and I've never felt comfortable in that role. I struggle with it even as a parent. 

I've forever had difficulty making decisions on my own. It takes me 20 minutes to figure out what I want to order off the menu at McDonald's and even then it's usually my 'standby'... heaven forbid they can't give me that, then I'm back to the drawing board! 

I've had to force myself into the capability to cope with this; to deal with making decisions on my own and dealing with the consequences, because I have little ones that depend on me. There is such joy and relief when I can relinquish that weight of decision and not have to make the choices. Or when I do have to make choices, to have a final approval to seek for them. Not to have to give over the reigns to my life, but rather have his hands over mine... if that makes sense to anyone but me. 

Expressing my submission gives me peace, it brings me joy, it focuses me, settles me.... centers me. I don't like who I am when I discard it... I've attempted it and met with... ugly results. I'ts a part of who I am, not just what I am. 

A Bit More About Me...Okay.. A LOT More.

Jung Test Results

Introverted (I) 54.05% Extroverted (E) 45.95% Intuitive (N) 62.86% Sensing (S) 37.14% Feeling (F) 69.44% Thinking (T) 30.56% Perceiving (P) 58.33% Judging (J) 41.67%

Your type is: INFP

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.

Enneagram Test Results

The Enneagram is a personality system which divides the entire human personality into nine behavioral tendencies, this is your score on each... Type 1    Perfectionism |||||||||| 40% Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||||| 80% Type 3 Image Awareness |||||||||||||||| 63% Type 4 Individuality |||||||||||||||| 63% Type 5 Rationality |||||||||| 40% Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||| 40% Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 66% Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||| 36% Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||| 70%

type	score	type behavior motivation
2	24	I must be helpful and caring to be happy.
9	21	I must maintian a peaceful and easygoing environment to be happy.
7	20	I must be fun and entertained to be happy.
3	19	I must be impressive and attractive to be happy.
4	19	I must be unique/different to be happy.

You scored as Type 2	Your variant is sexual

Yes. My enneagram test just told me that I'm a submissive slut.. lmao




Cattell 16 Factor Test Results

Warmth ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Intellect ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Emotional Stability |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Aggressiveness |||||| 14% Liveliness ||||||||||||||| 50% Dutifulness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Social Assertiveness ||||||||||||||| 46% Sensitivity ||||||||||||||| 42% Paranoia ||||||||| 30% Abstractness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86% Introversion |||||||||||| 38% Anxiety |||||||||||||||||| 58% Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Independence ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||| 54% Tension ||||||||||||||| 42%

Cattell's 16 Factor Key

Factor	low score	high score
Warmth	cold, selfish	supportive, comforting
Intellect	instinctive, unstable	cerebral, analytical
Emotional Stability	irritable, moody	level headed, calm
Aggressiveness	modest, docile	controlling, tough
Liveliness	somber, restrained	wild, fun loving
Dutifulness	untraditional, rebellious	conforming, traditional
Social Assertiveness	shy, withdrawn	uninhibited, bold
Sensitivity	coarse, tough	touchy, soft
Paranoia	trusting, easy going	wary, suspicious
Abstractness	practical, regular	strange, imaginative
Introversion	open, friendly	private, quiet
Anxiety	confident, self assured	fearful, self-doubting
Openmindedness	closeminded, set-in-ways	curious, exploratory
Independence	outgoing, social	loner, craves solitude
Perfectionism	disorganized, messy	orderly, thorough
Tension	relaxed, cool	stressed, unsatisfied

Big 45 Test Results

Gregariousness	|||||||||||||||	42%
Sociability	|||||||||||||||||||||	66%
Assertiveness	|||||||||||||||	46%
Poise	|||||||||||||||||||||	66%
Leadership	|||||||||||||||	50%
Provocativeness	|||||||||||||||	50%
Self-Disclosure	|||||||||||||||||||||	62%
Talkativeness	|||||||||	30%
Group Attachment	|||||||||||||||	42%
Extroversion	|||||||||||||||	50%
Understanding	||||||||||||||||||||||||||||	82%
Warmth	||||||||||||||||||||||||	74%
Morality	|||||||||||||||||||||	66%
Pleasantness	|||||||||||||||||||||	66%
Empathy	||||||||||||||||||||||||	78%
Cooperation	||||||||||||||||||||||||	78%
Sympathy	||||||||||||||||||||||||	74%
Tenderness	|||||||||||||||||||||	70%
Nurturance	||||||||||||||||||||||||||||	86%
Accommodation	||||||||||||||||||||||||	74%
Conscientiousness	|||||||||||||||	46%
Efficiency	|||||||||||||||	42%
Dutifulness	|||||||||||||||||||||	70%
Purposefulness	||||||||||||	34%
Organization	|||||||||||||||||||||	70%
Cautiousness	|||||||||	26%
Rationality	|||||||||||||||	42%
Perfectionism	||||||||||||	38%
Planning	|||||||||||||||	50%
Orderliness	|||||||||||||||	46%
Stability	|||||||||||||||||||||	66%
Happiness	|||||||||||||||||||||	66%
Calmness	||||||||||||||||||||||||	78%
Moderation	|||||||||||||||	50%
Toughness	||||||||||||||||||||||||	74%
Impulse Control	||||||||||||||||||	54%
Imperturbability	|||||||||||||||	42%
Cool-headedness	||||||||||||||||||	54%
Tranquility	||||||||||||	34%
Emotional Stability	||||||||||||||||||	57%
Intellect	||||||||||||||||||||||||	78%
Ingenuity	||||||||||||||||||	58%
Reflection	||||||||||||||||||||||||||||	86%
Competence	||||||||||||||||||	58%
Quickness	|||||||||||||||||||||	70%
Introspection	|||||||||||||||||||||	70%
Creativity	|||||||||||||||||||||	62%
Imagination	||||||||||||||||||||||||||||	82%
Depth	||||||||||||||||||||||||	74%
Openmindedness	|||||||||||||||||||||	70%

Big 45 Key

Factor		low score	high score
Gregariousness	42%	quiet, reclusive	engaging, socially bold
Sociability	66%	withdrawn, hidden	warm, open, inviting
Assertiveness	46%	timid, gunshy	controlling, aggressive
Poise	66%	uneasy around others	socially comfortable
Leadership	50%	stays in background	prefers to lead
Provocativeness	50%	modest, plays it safe	bold, uninhibited, cocky
Self-Disclosure	62%	private, contained	very open and revealing
Talkativeness	30%	quiet, stealthy, invisible	motor mouth, loud
Group Attachment	42%	loves solitude	prefers to be with others
Understanding	82%	insensitive, schizoid	respectful, sympathetic
Warmth	74%	disinterested in others	supportive, helpful
Morality	66%	break/ignore the rules	play by the rules
Pleasantness	66%	aloof or disagreeable	gets along with others
Empathy	78%	out of tune w/ others	in tune with others
Cooperation	78%	competitive, warlike	agreeable, peaceful
Sympathy	74%	socially inconsiderate	socially conscious
Tenderness	70%	cold hearted, selfish	warm hearted, selfless
Nurturance	86%	self pleasing, me first	people pleasing, me last
Conscientiousness	46%	reckless, unscheduled	careful, planner
Efficiency	42%	unreliable, lazy	finisher, follows through
Dutifulness	70%	leisurely, derelict	strict, rule abiding
Purposefulness	34%	inattentive, undisciplined	prepared, focused
Organization	70%	relaxed, oblivious	detail oriented, anal
Cautiousness	26%	impulsive, spendthrift	restrained, cautious
Rationality	42%	irrational, random	direct, logical
Perfectionism	38%	careless, error prone	detail obsessed
Planning	50%	disorganized, random	scheduled, clean
Stability	66%	easily frustrated	calm, cool, unphased
Happiness	66%	unhappy, dissatisfied	self content, positive
Calmness	78%	touchy, volatile	even tempered, tolerant
Moderation	50%	needs instant gratification	easily delays gratification
Toughness	74%	hypersensitive, moody	thick skinned
Impulse Control	54%	lacks self control	maintains composure
Imperturbability	42%	highly emotional	emotionally contained
Cool-headedness	54%	demanding, controlling	accommodating
Tranquility	34%	emotionally volatile	emotionally neutral
Intellect	78%	instinctive, non-analytical	intellectual, analytical
Ingenuity	58%	lacks new ideas	innovative, novel
Reflection	86%	unreflective, coarse	art and beauty lover
Competence	58%	slow to understand/think	intellectual, brainy
Quickness	70%	intellectually dependent	intellectually independent
Introspection	70%	not self reflective	self searching
Creativity	62%	dull headed	synthesizer, iconoclast
Imagination	82%	practical, realistic	dreamer, unrealistic
Depth	74%	lacks curiosity	mental explorer

Locus of Control Test Results

Internal Locus	||||||||||||||	51%
External Locus	||||||||||||	49%

In the 60s Psychologist Julian Rotter developed a theory called Locus of Control of Reinforcement. His theory centered around whether someone thinks their life is more influenced by external factors like fate, genetics, luck, environment (external locus of control) OR by internal factors like effort, tenacity, and free will (internal locus of control).Your results suggest you believe your life is defined about equally by both internal forces (drive, free will, etc.) and external forces (genetics, environment, fate). Thus, you have an Ambiverted Locus of Control

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain	||||||||||||||	56%
Left Brain	||||||||||||||	52%

*results won't usually add up to 100% as this test measures each side seperately 

Left brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven. Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively. Overall you appear to have fairly Equal Hemispheres ----------------------------------------- According to Darwinian theory, optimal evolution takes place with random variation and selective retention. The evolution savvy individual will try many different approaches when faced with a problem and select the best of those approaches. Many historical intellectuals have confessed their advantage was simply considering/exploring/trying more approaches than others. The left brain dominant type suffers from limited approaches, narrow-mindedness. The right brain dominant type suffers from too many approaches, scatterbrained. To maintain balanced hemispheres, you need to exercise both variability and selection. Just as a company will have more chance of finding a great candidate by increasing their applicant pool, an individual who considers a wider set of options is more likely to make quality decisions.

Freud Inventory Test Results

Oral (dependence)		||||||||||||||||	66%
Anal (self control)		||||||||||||	43%
Phallic (sexuality)		||||||||||||||||||||	86%
Latency (learning)		||||||||||||||||	63%
Genital (productivity)		||||||||||||||	53%

Oral: you appear to be overly passive and dependent, wanting things to be given to you instead of working for them. Anal: you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity, order and chaos, variety and selectivity. Phallic: you appear to have issues with controlling your sexual desires and possibly fidelity. Latency: you appear to be afraid or averse to present or future real world responsibilities, this will only make your inevitable transition more difficult, so learn to deal with the real world. Genital: you appear to be somewhere between a progressive/openminded and regressive/closeminded outlook on life. Freuds theorized that there are 5 stages of psychological development. At the oral stage the main issue is dependency, at the anal stage the main issue is self control, at the phallic stage the main issue is sexual identity, at the latency stage it's skill development, and at the genital stage its creativity and productivity. Freud theorized that psychological problems are related to problems during one or more of these stages. For example, being too cared for or too neglected causes someone to be orally fixated, too much or too little control causes someone to be anally fixated, insufficient parental role modeling causes phallic fixation. An orally fixated person is either irrationally dependent (expects what they want to just appear) or irrationally independent (always refuses help). An anally fixated person is either irrationally self controlled and servile to authority or has no self control and is compulsively defiant of authority. A phallicly fixated person is either a sexual compulsive (sexually innappropriate/promiscuous) or sexually repressed. Freud did not classify any latent fixation but I think it is as plausible as those at the other stages. I speculate that people that like to learn and acquire knowledge without any purpose or people that are compulsively non curious represent both dysfunctional ends of the latency spectrum. The genital stage is the final Freudian developmental stage and according to Freud people don't all succeed at this. Freud believed the ideal for human happiness is to be happy in love and work, problems in one or the other cause unhappiness.

R-Drive Personality Test

The R-Drive Personality system is based on the idea that genetics and environment result in distinct motivation drives that essentially define individual personality. Person A had a very artistic father (and other relatives) and that's a big part of why they are artistic (genetic). Person B had a really bad experience taking risks as a child which caused them to become very cautious (environmental) and/or they come from a very cautious family (genetic). It is important to note that these motivation drives are influenced by individual subjective perception of rewards. A person because of genetics and/or environment perceives certain behaviors to be rewarding (even if in the long term and/or short term, they may not be). The person with an eating disorder or drinking problem or penchant to package bad mortgages and sell them as good mortgages to retirement fund managers (wiping out people's nest eggs) perceives rewards from their behavior and that is why they continue to engage in it. What makes you who you are (what careers you may prefer, friends you might get along better with, romantic partners you might be more suited to, positive and negative personal characteristics and life outcomes) is highly influenced by your perceptions of what is rewarding. People with more accurate/correct perceptions of what's actually rewarding (to themselves and others) will be more likely to live happier/healthier lives and have a more positive effect on others. The purpose of this test is to help make you more aware of what you percieve to be rewarding and hopefully examine whether those things actually do, and whether you want to continue with your current reward profile. Maybe you will realize some of your reward drives are toxic to you, those close to you, and/or the world. Also, this system should help make it easier to understand others. (results here have been reworked to save space)

Your Results:                        Happiness Trigger:                       Dangerous potential flaw(s):

Narcissism   44%                 Internal Validation                         Failure to contribute

Unconventionality 72%         Being Unconventional                   Discarding values/traditions with value

Empiricism    33%                Being Irrational                              Believing what feels right IS right

Vitality 88%                         Being/Knowing who I am              Over contentedness/ over confidence

Othercentricism  94%           Helping Others                              Being taken advantage of, ignoring self

Independence 22%              Being dependent                            Over Co-dependency

Integrity    61%                    Honesty/ Being Forthcoming          Brutal honesty can make enemies

Intellect    100%                   Intellectual complexity                    Impracticality, possible alienation

Stoicism    61%                    Calmness                                       Egomania

Orderliness  33%                  Measured Chaos                           Disorganization, inconsistent productivity

Dynamism  39%                    Constancy                                     Inflexibility

Activity 66%                         Physical Exercise                           Over training

Romanticism   44%                Nonromantic love                          Fear of authentic intimacy/ commitment

Hedonism  55%                      Being “high”                                  Substance abuse/ addiction

You scored lowest on the Independent reward drive.

MOTIV Personality Test

The MOTIV Personality system is based on the idea that genetics and environment result in five independent and alterable personality motivations / strategies. Each person's distinct mix on these five motivations results in an vast number of different personality orientations, as few as 36 if you consider a high/low preference on each, 243 if you consider a high/middle/low preference on each, even more when you consider that some high/low preferences will be higher/lower than others.

Your results: Materialistic 52% 56% Offbeat 56% 60% Thinking 52% 58% Intimate 85% 61% Vital 80% 60%

Perceived reward:  Being more attractive makes me happy Being unconventional makes me happy Being rational makes me happy Serving others makes me happy Being alive makes me happy

Dangerous potential flaw(s):  Elitist, shallow, lacking an internal compass/ethics Discarding customs/traditions that have value Ignoring/ignorance-of your gut/instinct/feelings Being taken advantage of, ignoring self Over contented-ness, over confidence

*scores in gray are the average scores of other people who have taken this test

Although, you are encouraged to think about the MOTIV system and determine your own type, based on this test, this is where you seem to be on the five MOTIV spectrums.

Materialistic vs. Subjectivistic Offbeat vs. Conventional Thinking vs. Emotional Intimate vs. Witholding Vital vs. Depressed

Your MOTIV type is MOTIV Your MOTIV+ type is mox|I|V Your Primary type is Intimate

MOTIV+ type notation key ---------------------------------------- Uppercase Letter = Strong motivation Lowercase Letter = Medium motivation x = In between, on average; no preference |?|= Your primary motivation

Verbal Intelligence Test Results

Sir Francis Galton, the cousin of Charles Darwin, first popularized the notion of measurable intelligence in the late 1800s. Charles Spearman later discovered that all mental abilities tend to correlate together when statistically analyzed. He called this G. Modern researchers tend to agree that there are two kinds of intelligence, crystallized intelligence (learned knowledge) and fluid intelligence (abstract processing ability). Verbal tests tend to measure crystallized intelligence more. While fluid intelligence peaks between the ages of 18-21, dropping after that, crystallized intelligence can increase as you get older and does not degrade (usually) until fairly late in life. According to a number of studies, the correlation between vocabulary and general iq is around .8 (a very high correlation). Congratulations, you obtained a very high score. Your overall percentile is 80% which means you scored higher than 80% of the people who have taken this test. The internet population tends to be more intelligent so your percentile might be higher if the test taking sample was perfectly random.

Visual Pattern Fluid Intelligence Test Results

Most non-verbal intelligence tests measure the fluid intelligence. Some research suggests that fluid intelligence may correlate best to G. Your overall percentile is 54% which means you scored higher than 54% of the people who have taken this test. The internet population tends to be more intelligent so your percentile might be higher if the test taking sample was perfectly random.

Tests and results courtesy of www.similarminds.com 

busy busy busy

So I've undertaken projects. I'm planning like mad and doing tons of research and I'm completely geeking out on it and loving it!
I hope to do a series of kinky eating gatherings this summer. :D yay! I want them to be fun, but also somewhat educational... I do love to learn.

The plans:

Nyotaimori Night:
We are blessed to have a chef among those in our group and this night was his idea. It was this idea that sparked my concept of a kinky eating series of events. However, he is handling the details of this night.
This may or may not be held during spring break.

Edible Aphrodisiac Exploration and Discussion of Butler's Books:
Exploring aphrodisiacs is just fun. This event will be more of a tasting than a sit down dinner. I'll prepare several dishes with as many aphrodisiac ingredients as I can and display them with a description of their ingredients and why those particular ingredients are considered to affect libido and arousal. The butler's books is to make certain the following dinners don't cause any allergic reactions, offend any vegans or vegetarians, or have people leaving food on their plates simply because they're not fond of it. I plan to have a template of a basic page for each person to fill out and will offer copies of these for anyone that wishes to have them. This is also to help me with future parties and is simply the beginning of what I expect will be an extensive book.
As soon as schools let out for the summer

1950's themed D/s Dinner:
A lower protocol and semi-formal concept to sort of work up to the intimidation of a formal high protocol event. I plan to serve dishes typical of the American 1950's served either family style or buffet style, employ music and attire common in that time period as well as discuss 1950's households.
Two weeks after the Aphrodisiac Exploration.

Owner and pet Style Dinner:
This dinner is a bit more intense in protocol, but not in table manners. It is also an exploration in the dynamic between Owner and pet style D/s. The pets will serve the meal, wear as little as possible, kneel to the left of their Owners and crawl whenever possible (not during serving food or drink). The Owners will hand feed their pets during the meal and the pets will have speech limitations. I plan to prepare a sort of finger food menu for this event to make it simpler for the Owners to feed their pets. I know we have several switches and unpartnered persons in our group and am asking that the switches choose a role for the evening and stick to it and that the unpartnered ones contact me beforehand so that I may make arrangements if possible.
One month following the 1950's Dinner.

Formal High Protocol Dinner:
This event is still fluctuating until I solidify a place to have it, tables, and place settings for all interested parties. A "Collar and Cocktail" period will start the event for everyone to relax a bit and shift from vanilla life. It is during this time that we will do a sort of ribbon ceremony to pair any unpartnered persons for the evening.
The food will be prepared immediately beforehand and be ready for plating. Each submissive will plate food for and serve their assigned Dominant as well as themselves in sync; plating simultaneously, but serving the Dominants first then returning to the kitchen to bring out their own food. (hopefully! :D )
I hope for at least a 5 course meal, but the menu is not solidified. Using Mistress Zeneca(Starseer on Fetlife)'s manual as a loose guide, I am attempting to create our own version of protocol for this event and will have a review of it two weeks previous to the dinner. This will be the close to our summer series. The dinner itself is to be one month after the Owner and pet style dinner if everything goes as hoped...


WHEW! Ok. So just to give you an idea of how absorbed I've been in this... I've had this window open writing this post for 3 days. lol  I tweaked a few things in the plans over that time and I'm finally posting! yay!!!! hahahaha. Hopefully I'll be able to pull all this off!