Truth & Mercy

Let not mercy and truth forsake thee; bind them about thy neck, write them upon the tablet of thine heart. 

So shalt thou find favor and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
Proverbs 3:3-4 21st Century King James Version (KJ21)

This verse was brought to my attention via a post in a group I am a member of on Fetlife. It resonated and so I dwelled there with it for a while and read what others had said about it. One had used it in a collaring ritual with his submissive, another found historical references to relate to the Dominant/submissive dynamic, others saw no connection. I, being the lover of lexis that I am, wanted to first explore the meaning of these two oh so important words that the Bible says I should bear on my neck and my heart. 
mer·cy

 /ˈmərsē/ noun
mercies, plural

1. Compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm

- the boy was screaming and begging for mercy

- the mercies of God

2. An event to be grateful for, esp. because its occurrence prevents something unpleasant or provides relief from suffering

- his death was in a way a mercy

3. (esp. of a journey or mission) Performed out of a desire to relieve suffering; motivated by compassion

- mercy missions to refugees caught up in the fighting 

truth

 /trooTH/ noun
truths, plural

1. The quality or state of being true

- he had to accept the truth of her accusation

2. That which is true or in accordance with fact or reality

- tell me the truth

- she found out the truth about him

3. A fact or belief that is accepted as true

- the emergence of scientific truths

- the fundamental truths about mankind 

Thank you, Google! I love the diction in this scripture. To take these and bind them about my neck and write them upon the document that is my heart means so much. It is one thing to hold things in one’s heart and keep them dear, but with mercy and truth, to make them a part of my heart, not just in it. To not hide them only inside, but to wear them proudly on my neck and let all know that these claim me and that I claim them. Mercy; this is compassion, forgiveness, kindness, understanding, benevolence. Truth; this is fact, honesty, sincerity, genuineness, certainty, uprightness. I am to not only accept them and give them in their entirety. I am to make them a part of who and what I am and how others see me. 

Ironically, E once screen-named himself these two words. Truth and Mercy… So this verse is just made a bit dearer to me.

Exploring My Submission: Journaling Exercise #6

What do you feel are the roots of your submission? Do you think it has something to do with childhood? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

All of the above. There are roots in many places. Part of my submission branches from how I was raised, the way that I was taught to think of myself and of others, the social skills I developed, and expectations that I was brought up learning. Part of it, I feel, is simply natural; it is a basic urge for me as well as a taught one.

E and I do make use of a domestic discipline to a degree, though not in a traditional sense, I don't think. He does use specific 'exercises' to encourage my submission and enforce the rules we have agreed on. My submission to him is a large part of our relationship, I find joy in it and it is the major way I express my love for him. I have problems making decisions so giving him that control is a great stress reliever too. In its way, my submission is also a "sexual thrill". His sexual control over me arouses me like little else.

My submission also has roots in my spiritual beliefs. As a Christian, I am encouraged to "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21 NIV)  and yes, that's an attitude of submission, of respect, of putting the other person before oneself, of giving and expecting nothing, not even acknowledgment, in return.  The Geneva Study Bible says this of this particular verse, " ..the end to which all things ought to be referred, to serve one another for God's sake." That, I feel, sums it up rather nicely.

All these things work together to create the totality of my submission; the different aspects and the varied ways I display it reflect each of them. My submission in Christ was less before I grew in my other submissive origins. My submission to E is better because of my submission in Christ. I am a better daughter and person for embracing both and acknowledging that I need the guidance that being my submissive self provides. One might say my submission has a well developed root system... ;)

Made Perfect Through Weakness

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

 2 Corinthians 12:9

English Standard Version Anglicised (ESVUK)

This scripture was used in the sermon at my church on Sunday. I know I know. It's the BIBLE and I'm talking church and Sundays... But there's more to this than just the traditional yehyehing of a preacher. 

 I found it so strangely appropriate because I had just been focusing on grace and what that word meant to me and how I wanted to be a person full of grace (see previous post) in all its forms. The quote here "My grace is sufficient for you" doesn't just speak for the grace of God, though that definitely applies. As a submissive, this speaks to me of my Dominant as well. His grace, in all its forms, should be enough for me. Though God's grace is far beyond that of E's (sorry, Sir.. lol) I serve them both. 

I've said, since I returned to BDSM with an intent to keep my Christianity in tact, that I may submit to a man, but I will never call him Master, for I am slave only to Christ. I see Christianity through different eyes because of my submission just as I see everything else just a shade differently because of it (hence the name of my blog). 

The next portion of the quote "for my power is made perfect in weakness." Isn't is always? It may be more obvious to those of us in what are termed "power exchange" relationships, but if there was not weakness, what use would power be? Understanding that I, with all my failings, make evident the power of those I serve is an humbling thing. 

But the next sentence covers that "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power.... may rest upon me." In order to make that power more evident to others, I'll gladly display the weaknesses and vulnerabilities and flaws and imperfections that I have so that the authority of those I serve may be seen by those around me. That doesn't mean I won't keep working to correct them, but I'm not going to slather them over with a layer of concealer and hope no one sees.