sweetness

    yesterday was a good day. i got the chance to do more than just be the rope bunny or the pain slut or the fuck toy. yesterday i felt useful and that's such a good thing to feel. i think i had forgotten how fulfilling this could be. 
    it amuses me how quickly i want to do the best for him, where, were i doing such for myself it would likely receive a halfhearted attempt. little things like making sure there aren't streaks on the mirror or seeing that the kitchen counters are clear and clean or .. well you get the point. i hope that never leaves. i want to keep this feeling of being delighted that i want the best for him, that i want my best for him. i know it will likely alter at times, but i intend to desperately cling to it... and him.
    i'm happy. happier than i have been in a very long time. and i'm finding it's the little things that keep me so. and i'm wishing i could be back at his feet right now, wrapped around his leg with my head on his knee... soon. i can be patient. i have to be. 
    until next i write. 
~surri