damnable rain

    rain, well it depends on what kind of rain, but days like today? the drizzly almost miserable kind? make me twitchy. usually one of the few times i'm actually on edge. i can't be still. very little satisfies me. my mind bounces around the confines of my skull and i don't finish most of what i start. i think too much and do too little and, in thinking, i want.
    today i've closed my eyes a hundred thousand times and relived snapshots from yesterday. of his hand on my throat making me drift. of his voice in my ear telling me exactly what i am to him. of the weight of him pressing me into the mattress. of the pleasure in his voice as i cry out with the delicious pain he brings me. and his taste. mmm the gift of his cum. (oh, i know, it sounds corny, but it's how i feel.) sometimes i've closed my eyes and let myself remember and found myself responding all over again though there's no pain to greet the arch of my back and the lift of my ass, no flesh to meet the press of my lips or the sweep of my tongue. it sends my mind off whirring, trying the ways to get that taste on my tongue again.
    it makes me want to scream in frustration and pull my hair.. but i'd like that too much. instead i've wandered the house doing bits of this and that and chewed my lips. as if every movement isn't a reminder. i'm to the point that i can feel the aching throb of my pulse in my tender swollen pussy... and writing that didn't help either.
    i'm glad i'm not with him today. we haven't known each other long enough for me to be comfortable being this way with him. i open myself with almost no reservation when i'm with him, i can't seem to help it,  and, were i to do that now, i'd be... wild, unable to control myself, and completely too aggressive. i usually find my submission in peace and pain and an easy giving, but today it would have to be a fight. and oh how i'd relish it. damn the bruises and the marks...who cares if i'd hurt to the point of barely moving after? i'd give just to see how much i could take.... as it is now i pace the confines of my vanilla cage and gnaw at my wrist hoping my teeth don't leave marks too noticeable...